You Know You’re Getting Old When…

A story told at today’s graduation:

As part of every shift change, the staff and students do an island and school cleanup, which includes taking anything that needs to come off the island down to the dock for when the boat comes. Now, cleanup and chores are hardly ever the average teenager’s strong suit, and this is especially so for not-so-average Penikese boys. On this particular day as the boat pulls into view the island’s staff and students start draining downhill from the house towards the dock, everyone (supposedly) carrying something to help out. After all, many hands do make a light load.

One of the island staff dubbed “New Old Jim” (there once were two 'old' Jims and a younger Jim, this Jim therefore being the newer of the two Old Jims, a name that has stuck even though the older Old Jim has since moved on) noticed that Darin was heading down to the dock conspicuously empty-handed.

Says Jim, “Darin, I thought you were supposed to bring down the rubbish. Where’s the rubbish?”

Darin says, “Yo, dog, I ain’t got no rubbish!”

Jim: “What do you mean you don’t have the rubbish? There’s always rubbish and it’s your job to bring it down.”

Darin (in slow, read-my-lips tone): Dog, I told you, I don’t have any rubbish.”

Jim: “Listen, don’t give me that. It’s your job, we’ve been on the island 4 days, and we always have rubbish that needs to get off the island. So for the last time, where is the rubbish?

Darin, now quite agitated and put upon (not such a rare state, but still…): “Now I am gettin’ aggravated, dog! I don’t have any rubbish! What are going on about, man? Leave me alone, I don’t got no rubbish!”

Jim, now also quite put upon and about to come down on Darin like a ton of bricks: “Listen, for the last time, go back and get the damn rubbish before that boat gets here or there’ll be consequences!”

At this point Darin paused and then asked, “What’s rubbish?”

Jim: “Trash, rubbish is trash!”

Darin: “Oh! I put the trash by the dock a while ago. Man, what got into you?”