Information about Observances for Tom Quatromoni

An obituary for Tom appeared in the Boston Globe today, October 21, 2009. It can also be viewed here at the website of Chapman, Cole & Gleason and includes information about his observances.

Tomorrow afternoon's wake and Friday morning's service will be held at the CC&G's Mashpee location, and all are welcome to attend. Those with further questions should call the office at 508-548-7276.

Photo: Tom aboard the M/V Harold M. Hill June 1996, taken by Gloria Franklin.

Tom Quatromoni

Last night Penikese received the sudden and shocking news that Tom Quatromoni, beloved island staff of 20 years, father to three lovely daughters of his own and hundreds of Penikese boys over three decades of devotion to Penikese Island, its school and mission to troubled boys, passed away this weekend. Although cause and exact time of his passing are unclear at this hour, he apparently died in his sleep sometime Saturday October 17.

As we await word from his family on when and where his observance will be, we offer the following slide show, a hurried assembly of images that constitute only a minute sampling of Tom's career at Penikese, and the multitude of lives he touched and made that much better through his strong, quiet and loving example.

As we receive word we will post the information here, along with other more thoughtful tributes to Tom, his character and life among us. Of course, those seeking a bit more information than offered here may contact Toby at the school.

Groundhog Day

No, not the calendar date, but the movie in which Bill Murray plays Phil Connors, a shallow, obnoxious TV weatherman sent to Punxsutawney, PA to cover the day’s festivities and finds himself trapped in an infinite loop of identical Groundhog Days. This being Hollywood, of course the movie revolves around a beautiful woman, the sort who would never fall for Connors unless he can learn a few important lessons about life and love from the endless identical clean slates set before him.

During one desperate phase of his ordeal, a crazed Connors kidnaps Punxsutawney Phil and plunges his car over a cliff, killing himself and the groundhog in a spectacular, fiery wreck… only to wake up on the same snowy Groundhog Day morning in the same motel room with the same Sonny and Cher song playing on the clock radio. The poor guy can’t even kill himself! So he gets up out of bed and does it all over again, and again, and again…

Underneath this Tinsel Town fiction beats a resonant but unglamorous truth: humans change their lives usually only when they absolutely have to, and even when change is inescapable, most occurs slowly, without fanfare, and by infinitesimal degrees. No wonder religious and Hollywood miracles hold such allure, to the extent many people end up waiting out their lives for a sudden something to happen that probably never will, rather than getting off the pot and actually doing something that will (eventually) bring actual results.

In the sense of real-life change occurring at a glacial pace, every day on Penikese is Groundhog Day. Our boys have developed their problematic behaviors over years only to have circumstances force them to choose between Penikese and some other rotten consequence like jail. They want to do neither in the worst way but, with exhortation and a Machiavellian arm twist or two, some choose Penikese, a difficult and important first step that is far from the hardest of those to come.

Many arrive on the island ready to buckle down, floating on a pink cloud of unrealistic expectation about how long and how much work true change will entail, an expectation not dissimilar to early recovery from addictions. Hey, this isn’t so bad! Just hit a few meetings, bang through the 12 steps (shouldn’t take too long) and boom, I’m recovered! Ah, but if change were that easy, wouldn’t everyone do it, and everyone succeed?

Inevitably pink clouds dissipate and the real work begins battling volatile, unsafe and uncontrollable feelings, irresistible urges and temptations, old ghosts, haunting fears, cognitive trap doors, and bouts of stinkin’ thinkin’. Success, improvement and mastery come in near equal measure to setbacks and regression so that, lost deep among the trees of recovery, the forest of net progress is nearly impossible to recognize. For most people, it doesn’t take long for disillusionment to set in, and once that worm gets in the brain it eats resolve away until giving up looks like the only sensible choice.

For those of us in the trenches shoveling along with our students against the tide of human failing, we get balled up and mired in the march of days seemingly going nowhere, too. We doubt our effectiveness, wonder if we are making a difference, whether it’s realistic to expect undoing 16 years of learning and ingrained behavior in only 9 months, how a particular boy is making progress, or whether these boys can even change at all.

Being trapped in Groundhog Day was a torture for Phil Connors, but that very same torture was also his only way out. Penikese is little different, at times a bit of Hell, but over time an island of forgiveness and salvation. Each day is a fresh opportunity to try again, make the same dumb mistakes, fall in the same holes, spin your wheels, drive everyone nuts and exhaust their patience. Yet, although desperate to throw in the towel and say screw this!, we somehow never completely give up on ourselves nor, as much as they might want to, do others completely give up on us.

Yes, the true story of internalized change and recovery is one of time, lots of time, a winding and uncertain path, raw perseverance and endurance, and a conscious decision made each new day (and sometimes several times during the same day) to give this never ending slog one more try. The only difference is hanging in there until something does happen without ever knowing exactly when that will be.

Then one day almost past the point of thinking or caring about it anymore, we wake up knowing a tiny something somewhere is different. It can be subtle and small and difficult to put a finger on at first, but this, the first glimmers of actual (not imagined) change taking place, is unmistakably real and genuinely miraculous in a way no magic wand or Hollywood fantasy could ever make possible.

Penikese Celebrates Accomplishments At 37th Annual Meeting

Note: the following article appeared in the Friday, October 9, 2009 issue of the Falmouth Enterprise:

The Penikese Island School held its 37^th Annual Meeting in Woods Hole on September 14 during which the school celebrated the purchase of its new permanent onshore office at 565 Woods Hole Road. Other accomplishments highlighted at the meeting include a successful fundraising campaign for a new vessel for travel between Woods Hole and Penikese Island, a new island dock currently under construction, and to be completed in 2010, renovation of Penikese’s one-room schoolhouse and construction of a new multi-use Boat House. Penikese was also selected as a charity for the 2009 Falmouth Road Race and secured over $20,000 in donations through its runners.

Penikese’s recent successes reflect the ambitions of a Board-approved strategic plan to strengthen the school in key areas that, beside its physical plant and facilities, include the school’s business plan. The Chair of Penikese’s Board of Directors, Ted Doyle of West Newton and Woods Hole said, “The Board’s commitment to the school’s core mission on the island is unwavering, but we are just as deeply committed to exploring ways to broaden Penikese’s influence in the community and investigate and establish new sources of revenue. It is for this reason that our recent acquisition of 565 Woods Hole Road was so important. Having a permanent home anchors the school in the community and provides a springboard for expansion.”

For many years, Penikese owned a building on Little Harbor Road, which it sold in 1996 in order to stabilize the school. In the years since, Penikese has rented office space in Woods Hole but, according to Executive Director Toby Lineaweaver, “not without giving up hope that the school might someday be in a position to acquire another permanent home in the community of its founding and strongest support.”

Penikese’s new building, known to local historians as Davis House, was built in 1805. It the mid-1980’s it was the Gray Whale Inn before being acquired by Woods Hole Research Center. Upon completion of its new campus further up Woods Hole Road in 2003, the Research Center vacated Davis House and rented it to Penikese. In late 2008, the Research Center informed Penikese of its intention to sell and gave the school first option. Penikese’s Board acted swiftly but prudently to examine the opportunity and explore purchasing and financing options. Thanks to a generous gift towards the down payment from a local foundation and financing through Eastern Bank and MassDevelopment, Penikese closed its purchase in late July 2009. Although the cost of owning over renting will prove marginally higher, Penikese intends to help offset the mortgage by renting its third floor office space.

On the acquisition of 565 Woods Hole Road Lineaweaver said, “We are elated to have had this opportunity and thankful beyond words for the efforts and contributions of all those helping make this dream come true possible. Again Penikese has a home to call its very own, a door for its students, families and graduates from any era to be welcomed through, and nothing sends a stronger signal than this of Penikese’s strength and intention to be around for years to come.”

In his state of the school address to Board members, Associates and school friends, Lineaweaver further added, “In spite of our country’s recent economic turmoil, Penikese had its most successful fundraising year ever in 2009. The school and those it serves owe its deepest gratitude to the generosity and sacrifice of this extraordinary local community of volunteers and donors who have proven year after year their bedrock belief in Penikese’s mission to some of our Commonwealth’s neediest children.

“Although particularly troubled and troublesome, each of our boys is still a child, loved by someone and deserving no less a chance than what any of us would want for our own. Our ‘thanks’ to you is truly too small a word when measured against the enormity of what we witness nearly every day: relief from desperation and harsh judgment, a chance at redemption, and renewed hope for a better life. For many, these priceless gifts were never found or experienced until they came to Penikese, and it is you who make this possible.”

The Penikese Island School, founded by George Cadwalader in July 1973, is located on 75-acre Penikese Island at the end of the Elizabeth Island chain and is a state-accredited private school serving at-risk teenage boys referred from youth service agencies, public schools, and private-pay families. Penikese’s mission is threefold: to the students enrolled in its comprehensive and intensive 9-month island program, to its many graduates and their families and communities through ongoing Aftercare, and through Community Services, the school’s efforts to share its experiences and resources with the community at-large through training, supervision and presentations on the impact of psychological trauma and learning disability on behavior.