Right: Tom Quatromoni and David Ellison, July 1998
As we, the extended Quatromoni and Penikese Island School families pick up the pieces in the wake of Tom Quatromoni's sudden and unexpected death, we will continue to offer up occasional tributes as the spirit moves us. What better place to start, however, than beginning by sharing with you a eulogy for Tom delivered at his funeral by David Ellison, also known as "E":
As I look around the room, I see people who have been touched by Tom's life. Everyone of us has a special Tom story or two, and I'm sure later on we will share some of our stories with one another. Tom was father, brother, friend to the people in this room. We all loved and respected Tom. That wasa Q trait, people loved him for who he was. He was the most stubborn, hardheaded, caring, loving individual we have ever met. Tom was the kind of person who was loyal to his friends, family and the people he loved the most. Tom felt very close to his service friends. All though I haven't met them all, or for that matter you all, I feel I know you because Tom talked about each and every one of you. Tom may not have always agreed with what you said, but you always knew where you stood on any subject discussed.
When I moved to this area 13 years ago, Tom was one of the first people I met. I met him at Terry Sweeny's wake. For those of you who do not know, Terry was the former director of Penikese, who hired me to come here and restart the education program. The first few days of my new job were very confusing for me. Terry had passed away the day before I was to start my new life. Instead of receiving a warm welcome from a person who I thought would be my mentor, I was attending his funeral.
Before Terry died we had many long talks. Some of Terry's last words to me were to listen to what Tom Q said. Tom was the main shift leader on the Island and knew what was going on. Terry told me to absorb like a sponge everything Tom had to say. I soon found that this was no simple task. No matter how hard I tried to engage Tom in conversation, I only received in return very short responses, yes or no answers without elaboration. This was the man who Terry had told me to hang on to every word of? I remember calling my wife Liz and telling her to take the house off the market because I didn't think that this job was going to work out. I thought that Tom didn't like me and that the road ahead was not in this town. Years later, I asked Tom what his first impressions of me were. I told him what I had felt. He said he had wondered who the short man with the black pinstripe suit was and what were the changes he was planning to make on his Island.
Furthermore, if he didn't like or agree with my ideas then I could kiss his ass, and he would mark the spot. Tom was old school, he always felt respect was not given, but needed to be earned. In his eyes, I hadn't yet earned his respect.
Anyway, the next week I was off to the Island for the first time. Tom was the shift leader. I remember thinking oh great, I am going to spend a week on an island with a bunch of juvenile delinquents and with a man who says very few words. Oh, this was going to be fun, fun, fun. Although I have never been in the service, Q had always told me that when you are in combat, you bond with your brothers because you depend on each other to survive. In those days, life on Penikese was like going into a war zone. My first night out on the Island, as darkness set in, I came into the house to find Tom.
lighting several kerosene lanterns on the serving table. Q would line up the lanterns and light them one by one. The effect was almost spiritual; the lanterns gave off a soft comfortable light. For the first time on the island I felt safe. Q made me feel safe. This was the effect Tom had on many people. When you were with him, you felt safe. I had this feeling of safety many times in the 13 years that I knew Q. That night on the island was when I first realized that Tom Q was a kind and loving person. Tom's and my friendship blossomed from that point on. We were in battles many times throughout the years we knew each other. Sometimes the battles were with each other, it was part of our relationship. I would say Yankees, Q would say Red Sox, I would say hot, Q would say cold. You all know what I'm talking about, because I'm sure you all had similar experiences with Tom. Sometime we only agreed to disagree. It didn't matter, we accepted eacother for what we were.
Q once said to me, "Before you came here I had a name, and it wasn't Q." He would call me E, and I would call him Q. We made an agreement that it was easier to grunt out one-syllable words, so the names stuck.
Part of Tom's and my relationship was to bust each other’s chops. This past summer I was fortunate to go a Yankee - Red Sox game with him at Yankee stadium. It was something we had always planned on doing. Q wore his Red Sox gear, and of course I wore my Yankee gear. The game ended up being a 15 inning pitching dual that went on until 1:45 in the morning. A-Rod hit the winning home run. Afterwards, I asked Tom what part of the game he liked the best. He replied, "When old blue eyes sang New York, New York." Tom loved Frank voice. I had to give Q credit for his honesty.
Tom was a man who loved his children; he was so proud of his daughters and his grandson. He loved his brothers and his sisters and his friends. He loved good food and good wine and sharing them with the people he loved.
As I mentioned before, Q made me feel safe in many ways. When I would go out of town, I would ask him if he minded if I gave my son Ryan his phone number in case of an emergency. Q was always willing to be there for me and for Ryan if needed. This was Tom's nature, a kind and loving man who would always be there for a friend. I feel truly blessed to have had a friend like Tom be a part of my life. I told my son that I pray he too will find such a friend. Last night I was talking with Fred, Tom's friend from fourth grade on. We both said that Tom was the brother we never had. I love you Q and miss you dearly already. Tom Q, you will live forever in my heart.
