Things Can Get Better

Kevin's Story

By Toby Lineaweaver, Executive Director, Penikese Island School

Kevin came to Penikese straight from lockup with a pass to stay out of jail so long as he made it to graduation, a generous arrangement given his various legal entanglements. Except, Kevin didn’t exactly see things that way. Kevin was outraged, and trashed Penikese as “just another program” conniving to screw him over and ruin his life. He paced like a caged animal while haranguing everyone within earshot on injustice, his inalienable right to get drunk, and refusal to change no matter what.

Kevin suffered many traumas that included his father’s suicide, committed on Kevin’s 9th birthday during a losing battle to get sober, a tragedy Kevin blamed on the bungled intrusions of AA and therapists. As for Penikese, Kevin would drink muddy water before letting “you people” get near him, once threatening to slap a restraining order on Shawn Barber, Penikese’s Aftercare Director, if anyone tried to visit him during home pass.

Kevin’s only constraining influence was his 18th birthday when he could walk away from Penikese penalty-free, graduation or not. Nothing could dissuade him otherwise, not even earning his high school diploma by staying a mere 12 days past his birthday. He clung to his “out” with a sheer obstinacy that blotted away all reason. Hell-bent, it was only a matter of when, not if, Kevin would bomb out of Penikese.

Or so it seemed until Kevin’s first home pass, an occasion we anticipated with foreboding. Kevin knew that Penikese forbids drug and alcohol use on home passes, but assumed this rule didn’t apply to him. When Kevin found out otherwise, he said, “That’s it, I quit!” and stormed from the onshore office. We phoned a warning to Kevin’s mother, who intercepted him the instant he got home and drove straight to the courthouse where Kevin’s probation officer awaited with a simple message: go back to Penikese or go straight to jail.

Somewhat chastened, Kevin decided that if he couldn’t beat Penikese, he might as well join it. Soon, a wary accord developed, enough to calm down Kevin so that he could hear how his behavior affected others and respect, if not agree with, their wishes and perspectives. Still, Kevin derided this “therapy and recovery stuff” as bunk, and maintained his intention to hold it together only until he could scram at the first permissible opportunity. 

But as his 18th birthday neared with all its gravity, Kevin grew increasingly edgy until he suddenly snapped. He was in the kitchen, washing the dishes while the kitchen radio blared head-banging music that cranked up the household commotion. The shift leader, Michael Parente, finally had enough and announced, “That’s it, no more radio! Time to settle down and get to work!” Then he clicked off the radio and took it away.

Kevin paused a beat, then exploded in angry tears and invective-laden fury which scattered the students. Though taken aback, Michael quickly understood that something more than just the radio was behind this rage, so he gave Kevin time to simmer down. Later when they talked it over, Kevin was able to say, “You took the radio without warning me, and that wasn’t right. It freaks me when things suddenly change. All I want is some control of my life!”

And there it was. Kevin’s shell finally cracked open, exposing the terrified and vulnerable boy inside. The radio was just the last little straw of many, not the least of which was his father’s abrupt and shocking death, and all Kevin wanted was to never let anything hurt him that badly ever again.

This episode proved the catalyst for a remarkable finish. Today, six months after his upbeat graduation, Kevin holds steady with his job, girlfriend and, reluctantly, this “one day at a time thing.” Kevin is glad he stayed long enough to graduate with his diploma, and has even taken a course at the community college.

Considering how things used to be, Kevin’s life now seems almost ho-hum, an extraordinary turnaround amounting to nothing short of a sea change.